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It's No Use
by ExquisiteIrony and TheThinGray

About It's No Use

Contact: please! Comments or permissions, email to me at TheThinGrayChi@yahoo.com or ExquisiteIrony at ExquisiteIrony@hotmail.com

Note: Musings after only seeing trailer for “Revenging Angel”. What-if-ish character exchanges.

Credit: I only wrote parts of this. I can’t write brilliant characters like this! It was my initial idea. I emailed a few fans for help. One did. We co-wrote. Most all the brilliant character stuff came from ExquisiteIrony who told me to go ahead and take credit. Now take yours, Exquisite! {{{:-o}}}

Rating: It’s for adults.

Disclaimer: You should know these characters belong to Henson! Just the story is mine, I make nothing! Please don’t sue!

John Crichton lay in a coma on a bed platform in the transport hanger-turned-hospital, outwardly serene.

Jool fusses again with the cover blanket and checks another scan. There is nothing there to glean how to treat him. She has no spiritual attunement or experiences to reckon any hunches from. There is nothing from the available science, so there is nothing to do.

The lights have dimmed to night cycle. She’s past her bedtime. She sits and sulks to think how this will affect her appearance tomorrow.

But she can’t stop thinking of him. She first hated this inferior being. Then she thought he’d- oh, she takes a frustrated sigh. She wanted to kill him. Then she realized he was a fantastic guy. Now he was more- more what? Less inferior? No, couldn’t be. But more her “kind” anyway.

She gets up and stomps a foot. And rolls her eyes. But still. She returns to his bedside and runs a hand along the side of his face. And then she kisses him.

“It’s no use”.

Jool starts upright at the sound of Chiana’s voice. She looks every direction until Chiana emerges from the shadows behind to her right. Chiana’s manner and movement is extremely quiet yet of course that electrical presence is in the air.

“Can’t you find some other way to get your kicks?” Jool snipes.

“Watching you is no kick, hairdo.”

Jool folds her arms and looks sulky for a moment. “But what do you mean?” she looks sharply at Chiana.

Chiana steps around her and runs her hand along his face, and bends and nuzzles it.

Jool is at a loss and nearly stammers. “Why are you here? At this hour?” she asks as Chiana walks around to the other side of the bed. Chiana stops at the end of the bed and gives an unreadable but enigmatic subtle smirk.

No answer forthcoming Jool quiets and looks down avoiding her gaze: “Do you know what time it is? You didn’t sleep last night did you? I heard your bedroom door opening, closing and opening all night! And the night before you did all those power conduit splicing repairs. Why stay up now? What do you do all night? Lurk all over the ship?”

Chiana steps around and right up to her, nearly touching: “What’s it to you?” Jool can’t tell if she is provoked in anger, frustration or aroused, for the urges within herself that Chiana stirs, but she has to marvel how Chiana gets to her. But then Chiana plucks a few hairs off Jool’s shoulders: “Aw, I kept you awake poor baby? Say, um, isn’t it past your bedtime?”

Jool narrows her eyes: “Why are you here?”

“Why are you?” Chiana returns totally unintimadated, and unimpressed. Chiana steps backwards to walk around the end of the bed: “Ask anyone,” she slightly nervously shrugs, “I don’t… sleep too well alone. And maybe I don’t want to. If I don’t want to: I don’t.”

Jool looks away and downcast again: “You should get your sleep”.

“Like I care”, Chiana wryly smirks glancing back to her from the other side of the bed.

“You don’t get your sleep every night you’ll get, you *might* get, you’re an alien, you might get pale and splotchy, and worse, rings under the eyes or bloodshot eyes-“

“- uh I am pale gray, notice? It doesn’t show much in my complexion, no one notices darker rings under my eyes, it’s easy to hide with makeup and no one notices my eyes in the rare cases they get bloodshot. Besides they don’t get red like yours. If you-“

“-Not to mention collapsing from exhaustion”, Jool presses.

“Nope, my body and me, we have an understanding: I do what I want and it does what I want or things’ll get tougher sometime later. Simple.” Chiana goes back to gazing closely over John Crichton. “…I’m not as fragile as John”.

She looks back up at Jool: “Why don’t you go to bed, hairdo, you’ve got just enough time to get in a nap, after you do up your hair for tonight. I’ll watch him.”

Jool would be furious, if Chiana’s face wasn’t so- so what? Cheeky? Cutely teasing? Vulnerable? Both? Both. Why hasn’t she noticed until recently? As it is she finds herself only mildly miffed.

“Don’t be cheeky, whore, I’m the one here who knows wha-“ her words cut as Chiana reaches back to tilt the overhead light and backhands her face with surprising and not so accidental force.

Chiana moves the light to better illuminate his face. Then she looks to Jool, who is holding the side of her face in bitter hurt: “You used to that yet?”


“You’ll get used to it. Like I got used to being called a whore”, Chiana turns her attention back to moving John’s lips a bit with her little finger and intently staring.

Jool relaxes, abashed. And sorry. After a moment she leans close to stare too, then at Chiana: “What are you looking at?”

“Do you think it’s safe to use a dentic?”


“Because he gets breath like a Scarran after a few days, look at this build up.”

Jool shakes her head: “So primitive”.


“I’ll get one”, Jool turns around and checks the collection of jars. And in the reflection of a lid, she sees Chiana bend over and kiss him softly.

She turns: after a few moments. “Here’s one”.

“Thanks”, Chiana takes it and puts it in her mouth.

“For HIM, drekhead.”

Chiana removes it in few moments, when it’s done: “Yeah.” She puts it in his mouth.
Jool rolls her eyes: “Hezmona, I can’t imagine what you might be carryi-“

“-You want more violence hairdo? Then stuff it in one of the few places you’re not showing. Hand me that scanner.”

“I’ve done that.”

“So I want to make sure. I don’t know what kind of student you were”.

Jool gives it to her with annoyed attitude. And turns aside.

“I’ve been cleansed of carnal contact stuff, it’s very long lasting. And a Very long story so just don’t ask. Frell. I don’t see anything.”

“I know. I told you.” Jool snaps it back and puts the scanner rod away.

Chiana makes a mock impressed, musical “ooo”. Then removes the dentic.

Jool returns with the jar, then that placed away, returns to check his teeth with her. “Looks fine. Why do you suppose there’s metal in his teeth. See?”

“Woa. Weird. Some kind of human tribal ritual thing?”

“Hmm. Could be. Many primative cultures do that.”

“I know. Hey. You checked the rest? Just to be sure?”

They look at each other. And start checking around his collar casually. Jool looks at Chiana again: “Are you two- I mean did you two-“

Chiana looks at her, frozen for a moment. “No.” She looks away from them to his shirt, as she tenderly fusses with pulling the blanket up and making it neat, “No we…like I said, it’s no use. There’s Aeryn and…” she looks back to Jool “there’s Aeryn”.

For a moment Jool wonders if Chiana will cry; but she sees her bravely struggling within, overcoming whatever is going on in her.

“That’s all. Besides, I like Aeryn. It’s okay, it’s great really. I mean, I think it’s, it’s great that way. They are. I just know they are somehow. So, that’s that, kid.”

She walks around the bed towards the door: “You don’t hurt him.”

Jool intercepts: “But you would butt right in.”

Chiana stops but a couple inches short of her and Jool backs a couple from the heat of whichever she is evoking. “Wouldn’t you? If he offered some?”

Jool looks aside at a loss “Well I, I would most certainly not, if, if as you say he, it’s-“

“Look. Jool. I don’t know, okay? He never has. Just… just don’t want you getting ideas. It’s Aeryn and you have to live with it. Better if you like it.”

“Chiana.” She looks levelly at her.

“What?” Chiana is direct and unflinching.

“Nevermind, it’s nothing”, Jool steps aside.

“What? You want me to stay here tonight?”

“Well you can’t expect to do anything, I’ll stay with him.”

“You’re sure?”

“Of c- just get lost, go get some sleep.”

“Another night won’t matter to me. Maybe I’ll nap tomorrow.”

Jool sits on a stool at his bedside and stares at John. “No.”

“Okay. You get your beauty sleep, hairdo.”

Jool makes a smarmy sneer back. Chiana widens her eyes in amazement at this immature adolescent girl and walks on.

“If anything happens comm.. me, kid”

“Yes, nanny”, Jool’s voice falls away from her awareness as Chiana returns to the shadows of Moya.

Jool mutters out loud, unaware: “’It’s no use’”. A smirk on one side of her face doesn’t alleviate the bitterness as she slightly shakes her head.

She doesn’t hear the whisper in the shadows of the corridor out side the doorway.

“Yeh. Like a lot of things, girl. It’s no use. …So what do you do with them?”

The softest of footfalls slowly pad down the corridor.


~The End~

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