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"Scratch 'n Sniff"
The crew visit a pleasure planet, but as usual they end up in a whole lot of trouble...

Click here to read the Farscape World review for this episode.

Down on a pleasure planet, HoMo, in a bar, D'Argo tells Crichton that he is exactly like a Sebacean, when Chiana comes over acting all trippy, and mentions that Pilot banished them from Moya because they keep fighting all the time. Jool comes over, in a worse state than Chiana, and the girls leave to have more fun. Two other girls approach Crichton and D'Argo, and they all go and dance. Later, D'Argo wakes Crichton telling him that the girls spiked their drinks and took their money. Crichton suddenly realises that they're in a window, with people watching. When D'Argo tells him to get dressed, he notices that he's wearing stockings, and screams and runs.

On Moya, Pilot tells Crichton that he said ten solar days away from Moya, and he meant ten. Crichton says that he's trying to explain what happened, but Pilot is not happy that he returned after two. Crichton says that Pilot told him that if he could explain it he could stay on board, so the story begins...

Crichton and D'Argo are on a beach, arguing again, when they notice a familiar face from the bar and the window, an alien called Raxil. D'Argo wants to know if she stole their currency, but she says that she knows what happened to their females - the grey on and the really annoying gold one. She says that she has a recording, but Crichton is sceptical. She says that Crichton isn't very smart, but D'Argo has a brain. She then shows them Jool's comm., so they go with her.

Raxil takes them to a Hangi, Kabaah. Pilot doesn't believe that they exist' apparently they record even when their eyes are not attached to their body. Kabaah has a recording of "the show," but they need to pay. Raxil is forced to handover the money for them, since their currency was stolen, but her money just happens to be the same currency. Crichton is suspicious, but they plug themselves in and become immersed in the recording. It shows Jool doing a flip, attempting to impress the audience and win a bet with Chiana. Chiana twirls fire in front of a man, who then faints. The crowd applaud, and Chiana orders a drink. She's approached by a man, Fe'Tor, who makes her inhale something. Apparently Fe'Tor rounds up all the good-looking women, gives them the whiff and then the women do anything. He then hurts the women to produce freslin. D'Argo goes with Raxil to Fe'Tor's place, and Crichton goes to the bar to look there.

D'Argo returns to meet Crichton on the beach, and describes his time at Fe'Tor's residence. Jool was there, taking a bath, as Chiana entertained Fe'Tor. Chiana thought that D'Argo was there because he was jealous. When D'Argo went to drag them back, Fe'Tor's men pulled guns on him, and forced him to leave. D'Argo is upset with Raxil, and strangles her, so she sprays something in his eye. Then we cut to the bar, where D'Argo is dancing...

Pilot stops the story, saying that it makes no sense. He says that Crichton makes no sense, but Crichton says that this part is important. Raxil tells Crichton that she sprayed D'Argo with some freslin, a drug that makes people attracted to others, but the effects depend on where it's manufactured. She says that she thinks Fe'Tor wants the girls to milk them for freslin, as we see Fe'Tor taking Jool to the chamber. She says that Fe'Tor has her mate, Sarl, and she wants to get him back. Crichton notices Fe'Tor's assistant enter the bar, and goes up to him saying that he's looking for freslin, as we see Fe'Tor milking Jool. Crichton convinces the man and receives something that will get him into "the auction."

Crichton goes to the Hangi, and forces it to show them Fe'Tor's compound's layout. In the auction room, Harvey, the Scorpius-clone, appears, seemingly happy to finally be meeting Ka D'Argo. He gives advice, showing the two some circuit breakers that will blow the lights to every level. They find the milking room, but can't agree on the number of steps to get to it.

In Fe'Tor's chamber, Chiana awakes and goes too look for Jool, but Fe'Tor finds her. D'Argo argues with Raxil, and she says that she didn't plan everything so they could back out now. D'Argo is irate that she planned everything, and tells Crichton what she said. She's not impressed that they only have two measly guns, apparently having heard stories of how great they are. She says that she set it up so Fe'Tor would take Jool and Chiana, so she could get her mate back. She sprays D'Argo with freslin again, when Kabaah says that he has a live connection. Crichton sees Fe'Tor milking Chiana, and tells D'Argo that he should look. A weird looking alien appears, but Raxil says that the freslin she sprayed D'Argo with makes him look this way, apparently a disguise.

Pilot is having none of it, and says that he doesn't appreciate Crichton's lies. Crichton mentions that in all the time they've never known each other he has never lied to Pilot before. At the auction house, Fe'Tor tells his assistant to ring Jool until failure. As they enter, Fe'Tor suggests the Nebari girl to Crichton. He is surprised to see Raxil, thinking she had given up the freslin trade. The bidding begins as Crichton and D'Argo argue with Raxil for not saying that she used to trade. She tells D'Argo that he must stay calm or the freslin will wear off.

Fe'Tor begins the auction for Chiana, and when the bidding gets high, Crichton bids. He is then outbid, so asks to take a closer look. He then bids even higher, but again is outbid. Once again, Crichton gets a closer look, snuggling up asking Chiana where Jool is, which makes D'Argo angry. Crichton bids high, but again is outbid. This time it's too much, and he says that he needs more time to outbid, but is told to step aside. Chiana is sold, and D'Argo has a go at Crichton for caressing her body, but changes back to his usual appearance. Crichton takes out the lights, and gunfire ensues.

D'Argo gets into the milking room and tongues the assistant. Raxil's mate is dead, but after D'Argo escapes with Jool, Chiana and Crichton enter the milking room to find Raxil, who has got her stolen machine design back, and runs off. Chiana runs off too, but as Crichton goes to leave Fe'Tor attacks him. Chiana comes up behind him and throws a load of freslin over him, saying that he'll die happy.

Back on Moya, Crichton tells Pilot that Raxil used them so it's not all their fault. Pilot still doesn't believe the story, because there were too many inconsistencies. Chiana and Jool are still sleeping, so Crichton says that he will explain again, but Pilot says no. He's located a planet nearby, and says that Crichton and D'Argo will stay there in accommodation. They will return for the pair in eight solar days. Crichton says that it was real, but Pilot says he and Moya desire time away from their constant bickering, and this adventure did not alleviate that need. He kicks Crichton out, and then Crichton and D'Argo argue because Pilot didn't believe Crichton and now they're being kicked off Moya.

Synopsis by Dani Moure

Alternate Perspective: To see a different perspective on this episode, read Mary Wood's summary.

We have 132 images from Scratch 'n Sniff online.
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Episode Credits
Season 3, Episode 13 - "Scratch 'n Sniff"
Writer: Lily Taylor
Director: Tony Tilse
Production number: 10313
First UK Transmission: 24th Nov 2001
First US Transmission: 20th Jul 2001
Guest Stars:
Tammy MacIntosh (Jool); Francesca Buller (Raxil); Tamblyn Lord (Fe'Tor); Laura Keneally (Theiadh); Anthony Martin (Mitols); Richard Carter (Voice of Kabaah); Milan Keyser (Sarl); Jaye Paul (Heska Tinaco); Julia Trappe (Blue Girl); Rachel Sheriff (Green Girl)
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