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"Crackers Don't Matter"
The crew goes crazy, and an alien who really wants a tan...

Click here to read the Farscape World review for this episode.

D'Argo has brought an alien named T'raltixx aboard, who has said that he can adjust Moya's electro-magnetics so that they can't be traced, which has become a necessity as Scorpius left wanted beacons all over the commerce planet they've just visited. They went there for food, but all Chiana brought back were dried food rectangles – crackers. Aeryn brought one of the wanted beacons on board so they could find out where Scorpius is headed, and go in the opposite direction. Zhaan has decided to let T'raltixx test his device on the Farscape 1 module, and when Crichton activates it he thinks nothing's happened, but it worked – the module seemed to disappear.

Pilot is worried about how the device may affect Moya, but Crichton convinces him that going to T'raltixx's planet is worth the risk. They fly through a pulsar, which T'raltixx says occasionally affects "lesser" species with impaired judgment and wooziness, but the symptoms are only mild and temporary. No-one feels anything, except for Zhaan who is immensely enjoying the light.

As Crichton is walking with T'raltixx, he notices Chiana eating the crackers, and is concerned telling her she better leave some for the rest of them. As he leaves, D'Argo walks in, and Chiana says they need to talk. Crichton continues to try and find T'raltixx a place suitable for him, and walks past Rygel. After exchanging insults, Crichton tells him that Chiana is eating all the food.

Aeryn is fiddling around with the beacon, when Zhaan comes along and asks what she's doing. She then asks if Aeryn would tell them if there was a personal message for her from Scorpius offering a full pardon for turning them in, but Aeryn just tells her to go away. Crichton calls Zhaan to come and "baby sit" T'raltixx, and she asks if he's OK.

D'Argo sneaks up on Rygel, who is stockpiling crackers. He argues with Rygel, and then disturbingly starts ramming the crackers down his throat. Meanwhile, T'raltixx tells Pilot that he thinks there's something wrong with Zhaan, but Pilot says she's probably just enjoying the pulsar. T'raltixx asks him if he likes the others aboard, and Pilot says that he doesn't think he does.

Crichton asks Pilot to run a scan as he thinks that the crew are starting to act strange. He then hears Chiana and Aeryn arguing, because Aeryn won't show her the hidden message on the beacon. Crichton tells her to show it to Chiana to shut her up, but then Chiana wonders why he wants her to watch the beacon. D'Argo comes in and asks what's going on, and punches Crichton. When he gets up, Crichton wonders why they're all fighting.

Crichton tells T'raltixx that he said the light would only have a minimal effect on them, and he says that he's never know of the effect being so bad, as Zhaan sits in the corner continuing to soak up the light. Meanwhile, Aeryn finds Rygel, and says she has a plan and needs him to watch her back from the others. She says she knows she can trust him because he's too cowardly to betray her.

Chiana still thinks Aeryn is hiding something, and maybe she and Crichton are contacting Scorpius to turn them in. Zhaan comes along, and D'Argo asks if she's working with Crichton, and when she tells him to leave her alone, he tongues her.

Crichton is in Pilot's den, where Pilot comments on how deficient humans are, and then tells Crichton that no-one trusts him. He won't tell Crichton if he's run the scan, and when Crichton tries to see for himself Pilot throws him off the console. Crichton asks if he can see the light, and when Pilot says no he asks why he's being affected by it.

Crichton goes to see Aeryn, when she draws her gun on him. She and Rygel are only taking their fair share, but Crichton says he doesn't care about crackers. He asks where his ice cream is, sings a little rhyme about it and then runs off. In the mean time, T'raltixx is taking all of the DRDs, and says that he needs them to make light, but Pilot doesn't trust him. He says that he can help Pilot, but only if Pilot helps him.

Chiana and D'Argo are trying to leave Moya in Crichton's module, but he's taken out a component that it needs to fly, and disabled the hangar doors, so they're not leaving. On command, Aeryn is moving some things around, and is angry that Rygel is not watching her back, when Crichton comes along. He wants them to lock all the guns away, but she says no and shoots at him. He calls Pilot and says that he thinks Aeryn may be trying to take over the ship, but Pilot says he's aware of her plan.

Crichton comes across Chiana meddling with the beacon, and he wants to know what she's doing. She knees him where it hurts, and runs off, and then the beacon starts to talk back to him! Scorpius starts reminding him of how he got revenge on a kid at school when he was younger, and says they must be ready as the others are coming for him. Meanwhile, T'raltixx asks Pilot for even more light.

Crichton goes and threatens D'Argo with his pistol, when Scorpius again comes to him. Crichton shoots D'Argo, and Scorpius tells him to finish him off. As Crichton talks to him, D'Argo runs off leaving a trail of blood. Crichton then finds Chiana and grabs her from behind. He's ready to kill her, when Scorpius appears and tells him to tie her up so they can have fun with her later.

Rygel tells Aeryn that Crichton is coming, and Aeryn knocks him out because she thinks he's going to betray her. Crichton comes up and they exchange insults, and Scorpius tells him to kill her. Crichton has words with him and shoots him, and then he and Aeryn exchange gunfire. They both run out of cartridges, and lunge at each other.

Next we see Crichton dragging Aeryn into a room where he has everyone else tied up. He tells D'Argo that he needs everyone to understand that crackers don't matter. He says that since T'raltixx came aboard they've all been acting crazy, but they've passed the pulsars so it isn't them. Zhaan says that when she was near T'raltixx she was more affected than when she was in the light. Crichton says that he needs their help, because Moya's starting to glow. He says that T'raltixx wants them out of the way so he can create light. D'Argo wants to pay him a visit, and Aeryn says they should kill him. When Crichton unties her, she tells him never to pull a gun on her again.

Crichton says that he will go and kill T'raltixx; all they need to do is find a way to keep the light off him. D'Argo and Aeryn both want to go, but Chiana says that Crichton must, since he's the only one not affected because he's deficient. So Zhaan pastes Crichtons face with some anti-light puke, and they all give him items to keep the light away. They all take a look at the finished product, and he resembles some fake, tacky, failed superhero, and Aeryn says they're going to die.

Crichton uses the disappearing device, goes to T'raltixx and starts breaking wires to cut off the light. T'raltixx starts firing bolts at him, and clings to the wall, but Crichton shoots him off and then stabs him.

Pilot apologises to D'Argo and Rygel, who both accept it. D'Argo then says he's ashamed of what he did to Rygel, and Rygel says that he thought D'Argo was going to kill him, so he can't forgive him, yet.

Chiana tells Crichton that she was impressed with some of the things Crichton said. Zhaan asks if she did anything bad, as she has no memories of it. Chiana says no, she was best, and looked like she was having a great time. Crichton and Aeryn apologise to each other, then Aeryn leaves, and Crichton asks Zhaan hoe they can take it all back, but she says she doesn't know.

Synopsis by Dani Moure

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Episode Credits
Season 2, Episode 4 - "Crackers Don't Matter"
Writer: Justin Monjo
Director: Ian Watson
Production number: 10205
First UK Transmission: 17th Jul 2000
First US Transmission: 7th Apr 2000
Guest Stars:
Wayne Pygram (Scorpius); Danny Adcock (T'raltixx)
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